Abstraction

I read something the other day about the principle of abstraction. This is a psychological process humans use to take only the information they want from something and leave the rest.

Example: The lady in front of you is driving while talking on her cell phone. She cuts you off. You process the information that she is driving while distracted and has endangered you. You may even conclude that she is an idiot. You may respond in anger.

Where does abstraction fit in? In an example such as this, the person is dehumanized, meaning the only information processed by the responding brain is the danger response. The situation is potentially taken out of context. Avoiding abstraction involves giving people the benefit of the doubt. So, in this situation, you may consider that this person is human, and recognize that you don't even have all the information. It's completely plausible that this woman was on the phone with her mother who is informing her that her father is in the hospital and has been diagnosed with cancer. I would be distracted in that situation as well.

The article I was reading made the point that abstraction is what makes all cruelty possible. It's what allows humans to hurt each other. Abstraction is necessary for war to exist. We view the enemy as the enemy, as a group, rather than individuals who have families and lives and feelings and desires, just like us. A school bully may abstract his/her victims. It's what makes people able to do things deep down they know cause pain to others.

Once I started to understand this principle, I realized just how much we use it to cope with life and to avoid things we don't like or want. As adults, we tend to abstract children. The other day I was at my brother's house and his 4-year-old could not find a specific toy car. He was very upset by this. Normally I would abstract the situation and dismiss his distress as a trivial matter, mostly because I don't care about the car and don't want to spend time looking for it.

I instead decided to practice compassion rather than abstraction, understanding that in his 4-year-old world, the issue of the lost car was a very emotional matter for him. I helped him find the car, and he was happy. It was a simple thing, but relieved a lot of stress in his world.

The system isn't perfect. It's hard to always make assumptions and give people the benefit of the doubt, and it's not always a safe thing to do. If your gut says something isn't right, trust it; however, I've learned in the last few weeks that practicing compassion rather than abstraction makes life much less stressful. It has helped me let go of judgement.

It's important to honor the lives and experiences of others. We all do things for a reason, even when we don't realize it. Remembering that people aren't perfect and being forgiving of myself and others when things aren't perfect has been such a relief. All people want the same basic things, and actions are directly related to those desires. Remembering that makes life so much easier.